I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
