ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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