margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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