i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i dont even know how to be here
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Randomize