i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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