she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my being single is dangerous.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
