I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
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Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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