Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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