Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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