Kiss
Puke
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize