Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize