Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
false alarm, still single
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
