i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
