U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
