Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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