Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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