Dude my mom stole all your condoms
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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