Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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(310): View more from California

I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.

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(+69): View more from

You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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(205): View more from Alabama

...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?

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(224): View more from Illinois

only 4 hours until nug lovin time

(616): View more from Michigan

excuse me?

(224): View more from Illinois

nug lovin. lovin nugs.

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