Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Success! We fucked roommates!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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