maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
