I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
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i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
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