..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize