If that was your dad, he is hot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
