Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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