I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
