11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize