The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm always down for nudity.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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