you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize