is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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