make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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