I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
