LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
