just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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