Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
