but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
