Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize