It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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