If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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