She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize