At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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