If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
