its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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