We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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