He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
