Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
