There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
