I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
