I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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