I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
