the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
