I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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