who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
