She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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