so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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