I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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