I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
