thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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