i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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