we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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