We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
