woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
