I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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